Monday, November 8, 2010

Not Quite There Yet...

While I don't have a Musical Monday for you today, I do have a few things to share.

For starters, I settled on a name for my Tumblr... "Reaching for the Stars" and you can find it here if you wish to view it. I feel like it defines my goals for life.

Now, onto something slightly depressing, so if you don't feel like reading something kind of sad and discouraging, feel free not to read on. It's going to be a real confession of a college student.

Today I really felt like giving up. Dropping out. Moving home. Getting a job. And not finishing college. That's the first time I ever felt like that. I'm being 100% serious. I felt like I was done, I didn't get why I was here, why I put so much in to get so little out in the here and now. I couldn't understand why I was here, being so unhappy, working so hard to be so unhappy. I thought about how in 3 weeks, my parents and siblings will be flying to California to see E graduate from boot camp and how I can't go because I'm here, unhappy. I want to be in California, but the schools there are just not up to par for Education programs, so it's really better that I stay here for my 5 years and complete the program here, but I don't want to. I love my school. It is for me. I love Boston. It is also the place for me. But unfortunately I love San Diego more, and I am sure that there is somewhere out there that is better for me. I am looking. I want to be there more than anything in the world. But that may not be in God's plan for me and for now I'm just going to have to roll with the punches and work with what I've been given. I'm looking at different universities to see if they have undergraduate programs for Education majors like myself. Unfortunately now, it looks as if there really aren't any.

I'm torn apart and confused, but I just had a long chat with the best roommates in the world, and they've convinced me to follow my heart. Should I find a place that seems to be a good fit for me, I'm going to apply. I hope to keep you all informed along my journey to see where it leads me. I'm not quite there yet.

Confession of a College Student: Sometimes the work is overwhelming, you're unhappy, and you just want to be somewhere else. It's a learning experience, and not just in the academic sense. You just have to go with the flow and work to make sure the number one thing is taken care of. You.

Peace, ♥ , and happiness! =)

No comments:

Post a Comment