Tuesday, December 28, 2010

I'm still aching, still thinking, still craving, still yearning, well... you get the picture.

California is still on my brain. On my brain and in my heart. On my brain, in my heart, and nagging at me. You guessed it... I'm looking at schools again.

After being almost 100% positive that I was not going to transfer to a school in SoCal, I'm back at it again.

About a month ago, I firmly decided that I was putting no more of my eggs into the transferring to California basket. I was done looking into it, I had given up, thrown my hands in the air, white flag, the whole bit. I decided that I wasn't going to look into it any more to see if I could transfer because the programs were not up to par out there compared to SC. So as previously mentioned, I resigned to the possibility. I gave up, was done.

This week, as the cold has crept up all over me and the snow has been piling on, I am reminded of why I wanted to go in the first place. The weather, the people, and the weather. Most importantly, the weather. And just that for some unexplainable, unfathomable reason, I'm almost unhealthily obsessed with SD... you know, nbd.

So I'm sitting here since 8 pm EST (2 hours and 16 minutes later...) looking at schools again. And I've discovered that even though the schools are not up to par exactly with the program I'm in at SC, it is completely and totally do-able. You betcha! I could do it if I wanted to. Only problem is, now that I've decided I'm done with looking (or did decide and then reversed that decision, since you know, I'm awesome like that...) I've discovered that all UC schools only accept transfer applications for their FALL quarters and these applications are due in November... so I'm pretty much done for. Unless you know, I feel like transferring when I'm a senior at which point it would be pretty much pointless.

Confession of a College Student: So here I am again, feeling sorry for myself trying to find a way to make this all work again. But knowing my luck, it won't. Here I go again, getting my hopes up when in all probability they will be crushed again. And I can't help it. I know I'm where I belong academically, but is it where I belong physically, emotionally, geographically? I don't think so. Why should I stay here if I can gain the same degrees, a similar way, in a much more pleasing location??? I don't know. You tell me. So I'm debating, and praying, and thinking. Wish me luck, because I have no idea what I'm going to do.

Peace, ♥ , and happiness! =)

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