I was over at "From the Outside Looking In" today and I came across Samantha's most recent post which you can find here. Basically if you don't have time to read her post or don't have the patience, she was talking about how sometimes life isn't fair, and wondering why she and her family have to struggle while kids in her school who aren't responsible have all these wonderful things, specifically why they can all have cars when her family can't afford to get one for her. I wanted to comment on the post (which I ultimately did) but I couldn't see why I should write a "letter" (essentially that's what it became because I couldn't cut down what I wanted to say to her) on her post. Instead I decided that I was going to do a response post and link it to hers via her comments. Hopefully you all see where she's coming from and where I'm coming from and our perspectives. Please note that these are our opinions and if you disagree that is fine, just be polite about it. Thanks! And enjoy.
I completely get where you are coming from. In high school I went to a private school where the kids came from super wealthy families (ie: my best friend from that school drives a current year Audi) and kids who got everything they wanted while my father made less than $40,000 a year and supported a wife and 8 children with that income. (If you wonder how I went to this school, check out this post.) Needless to say I did not have a car either (partly because I don't have a license, but also because we simply did not have the money.) I used to wonder why, just like you do. I would worry about how the kids would see me when they saw that I didn't have the Abercrombie, Ralph Lauren, or Tory Burch label on my clothes. When they saw that my dad drove me to school in a 2004 Dodge Neon while they got dropped off in Range Rovers, Bentleys, and some kids even had drivers. When they saw that my bookbag was from Jansport and not The North Face. When they noticed that I had knock-off Ugg boots while they had the latest ones. Or even when they saw that I wore the same outfits every week while they probably never wore the same outfits twice, ever. I used to worry that they wouldn't like me because I didn't have these things and I would get upset. I would wonder why they got to have all these wonderful things and didn't have to work for any of it, while my dad worked 40 hours a week and could barely afford to keep a roof over his family's head and food on the table. I would wonder when my family's break would come. When my dad would get to relax and buy himself something nice, but it never came. It still hasn't.
I commend you for being able to realize that while others have it better than you, you also have it better than others. God knows I did not have the ability to even acknowledge that when I was your age (I say that like it was so long ago even though it really wasn't.) But I do now. And from the looks of it, you're a few steps ahead of me. That's awesome. In wondering when my break was going to come, I kind of realized that it never would. Even though now, I do attend my initial first choice college (paid for by my grandparents, the small amount that financial aid does not cover) it's still not easy. I do not receive any help from my parents monetarily, that's just not something that my dad and mom can afford to do. (Although I do receive plenty of support in other ways from them, I would not be here, happy, or doing well without them.) I'm here, completely supporting myself. I pay for everything on my own. And it feels good. Sure it's hard to wonder how I'm going to have money to do my laundry next week or to not be able to go out to buy some new clothes when I want to, but it's amazing to know that everything I have, I worked hard for, I deserve, and I earned it. You'll learn that, in time, it feels much better to struggle to get what you want, because then you'll really be able to appreciate it in the end.
So although now it seems upsetting that you don't have a car like your irresponsible peers, or that you can't go on trips to Cancun, in the future this struggle and lack of privilege will make you a stronger, more grounded person. I'll put it this way (only because it's you and you'll get it as a fellow Belieber,) if Justin Bieber came from privilege and didn't have to work hard, do you think he'd be the person he is today? I don't think so.
Okay, this is getting long, and I don't know that you or anyone else will read this in its entirety, but I hope you get what I'm trying to say. I know the struggle, I know it sucks. I know how it feels to see people getting everything you want and deserve while you still can't have it. I sympathize, but I want you to remember that it will get better. It will, I promise. So take a deep breath, punch a pillow, scream, let it out. Then calm down, and remember that you are an awesome person, you are extremely lucky to have just what you do, and that the material objects will be trivial in the end.
Confession of a College Student: Sometimes you just need to sympathize with people. To go on their journey with them. I hope everything gets better and easier for Samantha and that she finds some peace and happiness soon. (Summer is just around the corner!) Her upsetedness (is that a word??) about not having a car while her friends and peers do, is like a metaphor for something larger. Interpret that as you will and take some time to consider what your story is in relation to ours. Have a wonderful day!
Peace, ♥ , and happiness!