Monday, July 4, 2011

Now I Don't Mean to Be a Negative Nancy...

*Warning: Major self pity and whatever coming your way, feel free to avoid reading this post if you aren't looking to read about that. I'm not looking for sympathy or compassion or anything, I just need a place to let it all out right now. I realize I'm about to sound like a spoiled brat or something. I don't care. Again, feel free not to read.*

So I don't mean to be a Negative Nancy here, but that's exactly what I'm about to be. Life kinda sucks right now. Well, who am I trying to kid? Life has pretty much sucked since I had to leave school... and I'll explain why.

First, I'm one of those crazy people who likes school. I've always enjoyed it. I've never dreaded going to class and learning, unless the teacher/professor was mean and/or awful or it was super early in the morning. I would probably be a professional student for the rest of my mortal life if I was allowed to. So school ending, especially since I've been going to school and living in the dorms in Boston, has been a bittersweet thing. I love school. Make fun if you wish. = Way in which life currently sucks #1

Second, I really miss my friends, and although I've seen one and am going to see another this weekend, I miss the closeness and bonds we share when we're located in the same building on the same floor, just feet from each other's doors. I miss being able to run to one another's rooms when I have problems (aka now) and just vent, get a hug, cry, wallow, watch novelas with Kiara, move on, and vow to work hard to make our problems disappear. I also miss the carefree nights we share when we are having a movie night, go out salsa dancing, or just romping around the city. They're all doing fantastically and are having at least semi-fun summers, but here I am, stuck, making me the bum of the group. = Way in which life currently sucks #2

Third, I'm getting terribly sick of/annoyed with my grandmother. God knows I love her to death. I love her more than life itself. I couldn't imagine life if I didn't have her. But I am going insane dealing with her impatience. There is only so long that one person can be patient with another, and I'm about to lose my cool. I've been patient with her for two weeks and I'm nearing my wits end, but she's my grandmother, so I can't. = Way in which life currently sucks #3

Fourth, I hate my job. Oh yeah, I have a job now. I'm a hostess. And I hate it. I have to memorize the menu, and tons of other stuff. It's overwhelming, annoying, and I don't like the people I have to work with. But I'm stuck because I need a job, and I don't really have much of a choice at this point. So I dread going to work every day. = Way in which life currently sucks #4

Fifth (and I'll stop here because it could go on all day) it sucks to feel replaced. Which is what I'm feeling. And it's annoying to know that it's that easy for someone to replace you.

Okay, that's all the self pity and self loathing I have for now. I do hopefully have some exciting things coming up in my life and I'll be sure to post some cool stuff soon. I do have some ideas circulating in this bored, crazy, weird brain of mine...


2 comments:

  1. Samantha from From the Outside Looking InTuesday, July 5, 2011 at 8:02:00 PM EDT

    I feel ya girl. Not exactly on the same things,but I am having an everyday pity party for myself too. All my friends are going and doing and I'm stuck at home all day everyday. Not to mention the two of them GOING TO THE BEACH TOGETHER without me. I just love people.

    But seriously I am considoring building an igloo in Antartica and living with the penguins.

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  2. It happens to all of us… and relating with the older generations is hard, they were raised completely different from us. Their ideals, goals, understanding of life are the way everyone should be, at least in their eyes.

    The suckage usually starts by hating your job, since 80% of life is working. I hope you find the happiness somewhere to get through it.
    Keep us posted.

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