Sunday, November 20, 2011

Difficult.

It's hard to try to find yourself again after you were so sure of who you were. It's even more difficult when you still know that you are the person you always knew and thought you were, yet you can't seem to get back to it. It's difficult to have to try to make it through every day, when it used to be that you were trying to get through a month. It's difficult to feel like you don't want other people to worry about you, but that's all they seem to be doing.

It's difficult to want to move on, be yourself again, be happy, and feel okay again when you're ready to do so, but for some reason there's some force that won't allow you to. It's difficult to wonder when you're going to get better when that's all you want to do. It's difficult to care about someone when you don't want to. It's difficult to wonder about things.

It's difficult to make it through a day without wanting to cry. It's difficult to lie to yourself all week and tell yourself that you are okay, and that you're almost at a point where he doesn't matter anymore when you really aren't.

All these things are difficult. But what makes them easier is knowing that your friends stand behind you 100% and are committed to seeing you happy again. What makes them easier is people who are close to being perfect strangers that are willing to be there for you, listen to your problems, and tell you that they'll be there for you always. What makes them easier is knowing that you have a support system that won't get overly upset at you when you take your crazy frustrations and feelings out on them, but instead embrace you with a hug and tell you that it will all be okay.

What makes them easier is knowing that even though it doesn't feel like it, the clouds will part and you will be okay eventually, and that you have people there even when that's not happening.

It's difficult to deal with all of these things, unless you have people in your life that make them a little less difficult. :) And for that, I love my friends.

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