Sunday, December 4, 2011

Seeing The Light At The End Of The Tunnel, Learning to Appreciate What I Have, and Savoring the Last Moments of a Crazy Semester...

Well here we are at the beginning of the last week of classes, and who would have thought that I'd be where I am right now? I can tell you that I certainly didn't! I have to say that as hard as it's been, I've grown from the past 3 months or so of experiences and I've learned to rely on no one but myself and my friends to be happy. I've found my peace, and I'm feeling more like myself every day. It's a sweet feeling.

I've also grown because of running. This is not to say that I am a runner, but rather that I am working on becoming a runner. Working up to my first 2.3 miles was so difficult, then my first 3.5 which ended up being closer to 4.5 and today we (Kiara and myself) ran 5 miles. Well, that is to say we ran most of it, but were forced to walk some of it as well due to the fact that we're not quite there yet... We've also been running frequent 5K's since arriving back at school from Thanksgiving break. I would be lying if I said that running has not been an outlet of mine since everything happened with me. It has allowed me to free myself, see what I am capable of, and prove to myself that I am strong. There is nothing more satisfying than coming off a 5K having just reached your runner's high. It's really a magical feeling, and I feel like I'm on the absolute top of the world. :)

So, I suppose this is all to say that I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel (as of about a week and a half ago) and that I've been making steady progress ever since. And it finally feels wonderful again...

In addition to seeing the light, I've also learned to be thankful for all that I have, and sometimes even all that I don't. I made a conscious decision this year to ask my grandparents for something very inexpensive for Christmas instead of asking for a MacBook, and this is the first time that has happened in years. While I think saying that I'm proud of myself for it would be a little self-indulgent, I have to say that I am proud of the fact that I realized that it's ridiculously selfish for me to ask a lot of my grandparents when they already do so much for me. I should instead simply be thankful for what they have given me already, and what they give me on a daily basis, their love and affection. Even if they can afford to give me something expensive, that doesn't mean it's acceptable for me to ask for it. I'm an adult and I need to be more considerate of other people at this point in my life. That's just simply a part of growing up. I am disappointed that it took me this long to figure that out, but I am glad that I realized it before too much longer had passed. And I'm learning to be thankful.

And lastly, I'm savoring these last 2 weeks of school. With an upcoming Christmas party for me and the girls at my grandparents' house next weekend (see what I mean, what kind of grandparents offer to host a party for you and your friends?) and lots of fun holiday activities like skating and Secret Santa in between, it should be an amazing finish to a rough start to the semester, emotionally speaking.

All in all, this semester was tough to get through, but my friends made it happen for me by consistently being there for me when I needed them, not getting agitated with me when I was being ridiculous, and supporting my "recovery" of sorts. For that, I am beyond thankful and I don't know how I will ever be able to repay them for it. So a special thank you to KYC, KMC, CLV, KAM, RJ, KSR, BRC, and MABS. I owe you ladies my everything, I don't know where I would be without you... ever.

Peace, ♥, and happiness :)

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